I was inspired by this poem: “Things I Carried Coming Into The World” by Remica Bingham to write my own poem of that title. I have several drafts of different versions, focusing on my own heritage, geneologies, and family memories, various versions that more closely fit Bingham’s poem. But nothing really finished. Last night, during a free-write, thinking about the title and focusing on my birth, this poem flowed out, giving words to something that I have never really expressed before.
Things I Carried Coming Into The World
The loss of a twin at 12 weeks,
the miscarriage of one baby,
but not the other.
My mother didn’t even know she had been carrying twins,
till they found my heartbeat, still there,
safely cocooned inside
till I couldn’t hold
Born six weeks early,
only 3 lbs.
I didn’t know about her
till much, much later.
The other–never missed as a sibling,
just an abstract concept, the question:
what if I were two?